I am an Access Bars practitioner. By far, the biggest judgment people have when they come for a session is not being enough. Possibly because it can incorporate all the other ways we judge ourselves.
Most don’t even know this is the case. Do you think you are enough? Let’s see.
- Do you have any judgments about how you parent? Were you perfect?
- Do you have any judgments about decisions you made in your past?
- Do you know you were wrong and feel like there is nothing you can do to correct that?
- Do you think if you were thinner, rounder or looked different that you would be enough?
- Do you believe you were ever wrong?
If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you may certainly be convinced that you are not enough. How could you be? I’m here to tell you that you are and have always been enough.
We can only make decisions from the knowledge base of which we have at the time. So, every decision you made was with the information you had at the time. Even when you knew you were making a choice that was “wrong”, “hurtful”, “shameful”. You made a choice based on getting your needs met. It is a basic human function. If you were abused, you learned that it had power and you may have learned to use that to protect yourself. If you parented in a way that you would not do today, you did it with the information you had on parenting at the time. If you wouldn’t make that choice again, congratulations! You have grown. That is the key. If your past keeps coming up, it is for you to heal the wound not to guilt yourself into a lifetime of unhappiness.
What would your life look like if you didn’t judge your past? You could focus on the choices you make today. Would you make different choices today? If so, you learned something new and your previous way of choosing has been upgraded. Keep upgrading! There is still time. It’s ok to admit you have chosen something you wouldn’t choose today. Forgive your past self. That person is not here anymore. You are here and you are enough.